Resolutions.

We're nearly two weeks into the new year! Usually it seems that January drags on and feels slightly depressing after the holidays have passed. This year I feel like January is flying by! Despite the dreariness of the weather and bare trees, I've been feeling pretty happy and content with life.

Tonight Mr.P and I were eating a quiet dinner together after church. We were talking about our resolutions for the coming months/year ahead. He just finished a training this past week which helped him learn a lot about his leadership and management style. It gave him a lot to think about as to how he presents himself, and it gave him time to reflect on how he'd like to change certain aspects of his communication style. He'd also like to start presenting himself better - such as making sure he's shaved, wearing clean/ironed clothing (ha ha...he's going to need to learn to help with the laundry if he has this expectation!)

As for my resolutions, I feel like I would like to be better at keeping secrets. I've never been very good at keeping things to myself (at least things pertaining to my life), I tend to be an open book to those who know me. But as I've gotten older I've felt an increased need for privacy about certain things. This past week I learned that something I had wanted to keep semi-private was leaked by one friend to some other friends and so on....when I heard that several people knew this piece of information about me I felt somewhat violated. Not that I wouldn't have shared the story with some of those friends, I just felt like I should have been the one to tell people, not them hearing second or third hand. Also, since there is more to the story than I was willing to share, I felt slightly caught off guard.

However, that situation aside, I am currently holding onto a big secret. It's been a lot easier to keep my secret than I thought it would be, and now that I've been holding onto it for awhile I feel so protective of it that I don't know if I want to share it with anyone but Mr.P!

I wish I had a big frosty mug of beer in my hands.

Today I am finding myself annoyed by small things. I suppose it has to do with the fact that I'm working and overloaded with work right now. Mr.P is at home enjoying a day off. Our house is a total mess and we're supposed to host a family get together tomorrow.

First I have to say that I am very proud of Mr.P today. He called me up a bit ago and asked me how to start the dishwashers (no, it's not a new dishwasher. It came with our house we've lived in for 1.5 years!) Obviously this is a big deal that he is doing the dishes. However, it took about 5 minutes of me explaining and him trying to figure out how to start the dishwasher. It's not rocket science! Finally he got it figured out. I instructed him on how to start some laundry next if he is feeling domestic...

At work I have been dealing with a crazy rush of paperwork- all by myself. There were three of us in the office, but J died a few months ago and has not been replaced. T is on vacation through next week, and I am holding down the fort. Normally this would be fine, except right now is one of our busiest times of the year. For each email I answer, another 2 come in. Hopefully this weekend the incoming will slow down so I can get caught up.

One thing that drives me crazy is when people call me to ask for my fax number or email address, and when I start to give them the info they put me on hold to find a pen/pencil to write down the info. WTF? You're calling to get some info, and you don't already have a pen/pencil in hand? Seriously! This has happened to me 3 times today.

On a positive note, I am looking forward to this evening. We have dinner plans with a friend we haven't seen in a long time. We were supposed to go to a party, but instead we decided to stay home and watch movies and clean our house. After being gone so much of December, it will be nice to spend the evening in.

Happy New Year! I have high hopes for 2009 being a great year....

Home, sweet, home.

I just read an online article about another "ABC Home Makeover" family who is facing foreclosure. I want to say it's the 3rd article I've read in recent months about Home Makeover recipients at risk of losing their homes. Two of these cases (including the one I just read) note that the family chose to take out a large home equity loan against the house and now they're behind on their payment since the ARM has reset. That is unfortunate, and I do feel bad for people facing the stress of losing their home. However, I also feel like people need to be responsible. Not only do the people from this show get a brand new beautiful custom home, it's mortgage free. I think that taking out a loan against a gift like this is really stupid, and frankly, it's also greedy.

I've struggled a lot with my feelings about the recent gov't bailouts, and the plans being created to help people keep their homes. I want to see people succeed, but I also have a hard time reconciling my own situation with those of people in a tough situation because I feel like ultimately there needs to be some level of personal responsibility and accountability.

When Mr.P and I bought our house, we ended up buying a smaller house then we would have liked. We chose our house based off the neighborhood we wanted to live in, and we made sure to find a house that was well within our financial means (it's scary to think how much our mortgage guy was willing to finance us for!) We pay our mortgage on time, and since we did not max ourselves out with a larger/more expensive house, we're able to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle. We chose a 30 year fixed payment mortgage, though the interest rates on those ARM mortgages was enticing since they offered intro rates quite lower than our 30 year fixed rate. We felt the responsible thing to do was to go with the 30 year fixed, even if it meant paying a higher interest rate.

When I hear stories of people who are in over their heads having bought a house much more expensive than they could realistically afford, or their ARM has now reset, or they didn't fully understand the paperwork they signed getting into their mortgage, or they've taken out a loan against their property and now can't afford to repay that loan....it all makes me head spin. I also feel a little angry because I am responsible, and now I feel like all the people who aren't responsible are messing up the economy and housing market for the rest of us. Why should one person get a bail out (of taxpayer dollars), while I'm over here paying my mortgage on time?

I'd like to order a tall coffee and some sunlight.

All day I kept contemplating a drive down to Starbucks. Part of it is to have a warm coffee beverage, part of it is to escape the office. Since there was a funeral where I work today and the parking situation was a bit dicey due to said funeral, I opted to wait until that event was over. About ten minutes ago I started debating what to order, and I realized that I hadn't had caffeine in a week. Yay PhinneyGirl! But then I remembered, oops, I had a triple grande soy gingerbread latte yesterday (and it was delicious). In my efforts to cut back on caffeine, I decided that I should not have caffeine two days in a row. I also lack the willpower to walk into a Starbucks and willingly order decaf, so instead I'll just avoid it all together. Sigh.

Is it just me or is it getting dark really early? I know, daylight savings time kicked in, but seriously, it's barely after 4 o'clock here and it's nearly pitch black outside! It seemed like last week we still had some daylight around 4 o'clock. I can handle the rain no problem...but the darkness really gets to me. I shudder at the thought of the months ahead where I arrive at work in the dark, and leave in the dark.

Stay at home wife for a day.

It was nice waking up knowing I didn't have to go to work today. I drove Mr.P to work since I was planning on running errands near his office. I went shopping at Target, and was able to contain myself from making impulse purchases (I'm really bad about that). I was able to spend an hour wandering around Target, and I escaped spending well under $100. I got a couple little Christmas gifts, a bunch of dry goods and soups (who knew Target had such a great grocery area?) I also found a shelving unit for our pantry.

When we moved into our house, I unpacked the kitchen in a hurry and just hastily put things away. It's not very efficiently organized, and we have long been out of space to the point where we have random things on the counter that should really be put away (like the toaster. Do we eat toast? Sometimes...like once every 3 months!) The shelving unit is great because already it has freed up two cupboards that can now house the various appliances and junk that was cluttering the counters.

I also installed some new hooks on the backs of our doors to hang towels/robes/jackets. I've gotten several loads of laundry done, and I got caught up on the 90210 episodes I've had in the DVR que. Next up is making dinner, then tonight I'm going to catch up on ironing and watch a movie! It's nice to have a "stay at home wife" day where I can get some domestic things taken care of. I'm a little sad about going back to work tomorrow, but I think it's for the best. If I were a stay at home wife all the time, I think I'd get really bored.

Ticking away, the moments that make up a dull day...

*The title is from one of my favorite Pink Floyd songs, Time*

Earlier today as I was reviewing each blog post to change names (to make the blog a bit more anonymous) I read through each old post. How much things can change in a matter of months! It's funny that time can move either slow or fast, depending on where you are at in life. For me, the past several months have moved very slowly. Not that it's a bad thing, I have certainly enjoyed my time.

In July I posted about Mr.P and I being in the discussing/planning phase of having a baby. A month later we were in the, "Let's make a baby!" mindset. Ha, if only it were that easy. I feel like once we got on the baby track, time began moving soooo slow. It's not like you can just have sex and, bam, a baby is made. Sorry friendo's, the process is a little more challenging. You have to wait until ovulation time (assuming one is actually ovulating) and even then, the window of fertility is only about 24 hours, and if sex is timed accordingly, the odds of conceiving are less than 20%. Like I've said before, babies are a miracle (unless you're a crack whore...then it's no problem getting knocked up).

The past month or so I have felt this nagging sense of limbo...not wanting to commit to plans a few months out "in case" we're pregnant. It sucks, I wish I could just freely know what was going to happen. I'm already dealing with the disappointment of knowing that we won't have a "pregnancy anouncement" for our families for the holidays. That would've been fun. I'm also realizing that if we do get pregnant in the next few months, that will mean I'll be huge (which means uncomfortable) during the summer months. I always swore I'd never have a summer or early fall baby...but now I really could care less about something so petty as that.

Text-o-mania.

Mr.P called to let me know that I went over my 400 txt message this past month. Oops. At least it's only about $8 in charges. The conversation ended with him needing to run an errand, but first he let me know we need to have a "chat" tonight. That's never a good sign...

5 minutes later, the following txt sequence took place:

Mr.P: pssst...I luv you :-)

PhinneyGirl: Why do I have a feeling you're going to come home and piss in my cheerios?

Mr.P: I luv cheerios ;-)

PhinneyGirl: I don't luv your piss.

Wow, two months - so much to report!

I've been a bad blogger. I haven't posted in two months. Actually, that is not true, I have blogged, just not on here. I've become addicted to "the nest" a community blog/networking site for young married women which is not a blocked site from work and thus, keeping with the typical government worker, I have spent much of my days trolling/writing on the blogs on there.
So lets see... major points to note:

1. I got a new car! Yay! I am now the proud owner of a 2005 BMW X3. So one friend said I'm now officially a yuppy and she's embarressed to ride in my car. Oh well, I like it and I feel like it's a good safe car for our future offspring to ride in. The gas mileage may suck a little, but good thing my commute to work is only 5 miles. Plus, it has heated leather seats. Pretty much the greatest thing since sliced bread.

2. I ran a half marathon! At my 40 lbs lost marker, I participated in a half marathon! My time may not have been as awesome as past half marathons, but I still finished and I am proud of myself. I may not have been able to walk for a few days...but I digress.

3. We're officially TTC (trying to conceive for those of you not in the TTC world). Yup, after going off BC (birth control) this summer, our initial intention was to level out my hormones and try "natural birth control" but after our anniversary we decided we're ready to start TTC. I've had a history of irregular cycles and ovarian cysts...so it may be a long journey. Hopefully we'll get pregnant right away (already 1 cycle of failure) but we're praying about it that God will be with us during this journey. For those of you who know me, this is especially trying since, A) I am super impatient, and B) I am a total type A personality. Luckily Mr.P is very relaxed and is able to shake my shoulders every so often and remind me that it is not in my hands. Easier said than done. I have total crazy baby fever and can't wait to start our family.

4. I am now officially 29! My birthday was last month. It was a great birthday, and with all the dinners/parties/celebrations I realized how blessed I am to have so many great friends and family that took time to celebrate with me. Plus, my puppet collection grew. I went from two puppets to 5 puppets!

5. For our 1 year anniversary Mr.P surprised me with a trip! We never did go on an official honeymoon (the weekend after our wedding we went on a 2 night trip to the Oregon coast), and he promised me someday we'd go on a *real* honeymoon. For our anniversary he surprised me with an itinerary for an 8 day cruise to Mexico! This is exciting because neither of us has been to Mexico. In early December we'll be cruising Mexico! Woo-hoo! Of course, if I'm pregnant by then I won't get to check off my "list of life dreams" visiting a tequila factory (small price to pay though).

So that's the latest friendo's. It's a rainy Friday here in Seattle. Mr.P and I are going away to Lake Quinault tomorrow for a 1 night getaway at the Lake Quinault Lodge. Even though the forcast is rain, we're looking forward to a relaxing and quiet mini-trip.

I'll air some dirty laundry.

I know, it's summer, I should enjoy the outdoors. Believe me, I do. However, being a 5 on the 0-5 allergy scale for grass allergies, it's pretty damn hard to go outside without having a reaction since somewhere nearby there is always someone cutting their grass. So I've resigned myself to taking a vitamin D supplement, working out at the gym, and sitting on my ass in front of the TV rotting my brain. Mr.P says I watch too much tv. It's his fault really, he's the one who insisted on buying a 46" LCD tv as a housewarming gift to ourselves.

Several friends are having babies this summer, so I've committed myself to designing and handsewing them each a unique baby quilt. I'm frantically trying to finish one in the next few days and get it off in the mail before their baby is born. Quilting is a good activity for sitting and watching tv. Rather than really watch the tv, I'm listening to it.

I think Mr.P's concern over my viewing habits are that I watch what he deams to be poor quality tv. We all have our vices, mine is reality tv. America's Next Top Model, Legally Blonde the Musical: The Search for the Next Elle Woods, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Farmer Wants a Wife. Those are the main ones that kept my interest in the past few months. Unfortunately, they are now over and I am hard pressed to find some quality reality tv to fill that void. I did find "Tori and Dean Home Sweet Hollywood" which is growing on me. But it's a mere hour per week, I need at least one or two more hours to fullfill my weekly fix.

This may sound weird, but I have always had a bit of an irrational fear of little people. As in, dwarfs (don't use the "M" word, apparently that term is not acceptable anymore). Yes, I will admit that I am frightened by them. It's not in my top three fears (bunk beds, giant spiders, railroad crossings) but likely in the top five. I can't even really explain why, but in the rare instance I encounter a little person at the mall, the grocery store, or wherever, I causally move in the opposite direction. Perhaps my fear stems from a childhood fear of the movie "The Wizard of Oz." There are a lot of little people in that, so maybe that is the manifestation of my fear. It really is stupid I understand, seeing as how they are: A) normal people, B) probably nice people, C) at least a foot and a half shorter than me. At the gym the other day I was watching Oprah, and on the episode she was interviewing the family from the show "Little People, Big World." In hearing their stories and seeing them interacting, I was very interested. I'm thinking that I should set my DVR to record some episodes of "Little People, Big World" to watch while I wait for some good reality tv to come along.